Allow me to introduce the easiest solution since blaming the CIA: Blame Jewish Space Lasers!
At least 7 people worldwide have started blaming Jewish Space Lasers for their problems already - join the club!
I used to have nobody to blame for my poor vision when visiting my doctor.
Then I started complaining about Jewish Space Lasers damaging my vision! Now I have something to whine about at every visit! - Carl D. Ümass
Before we started blaming Jewish Space Lasers for our problems, we had to actually conduct investigations into the cause of wildfires. It was exhausting! Now we can easily write off every call as a Jewish Space Laser incident and call it a day! - City of Hoostin Fire Department
What would that look like anyway? A laser beam or light beam coming down to Earth I guess. Could that cause a fire? Hmmm, I don't know. I hope not! That wouldn't look so good for PG&E, Rothschild Inc, Solaren, or Jerry Brown who for sure does seem fond of PG&E. [...] Seems like there's a lot of connected people in this crowd. And with these space solar generators, I really hope they have very good aim beaming the suns [sic] power down to Earth...
But what do I know? I just like to read a lot🤷♀️ - Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene of the State of Georgia's 14th District
You too can join the fight to ban unscrupulous use of Jewish Space Lasers today! For a start, try donating to the Wikimedia Project to help them expose the reality of Jewish Space Lasers.
I'm so sorry you feel that way! Simply address a letter to "banjewishspacelasers.org webmaster" with your feedback, print it out, and feed it into your closest shredder! I assume that the NSA and FBI will scan the letter as it passes through the shredder and forward its contents directly to my inbox!
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